Left for Cambodia with Thaddy, SW, Sandra Chua (surname's very important haha), Nat and Mr A. Initially, I thought, "alright, so I have 2 hours to either read or to sleep", but I ended up chatting with Thaddy throughout the flight.
It wasn't that I was forcing myself to talk to him, but the conversation was so interesting that we just kept going on with it. I quite like listening to him, he seems to know a lot and his words are wise. Thank God for this time that He has blessed us with, it's the most enjoyable flight I've ever had =)
Day 3: 13th December 2010
It was the first day of serving in Cambodia for this year's trip. I felt very self-conscious and I felt significantly insignificant. Started wondering if I should be there in the first place and well, basically just bad-mooded the whole day.
I thought hard about what I can possibly give thanks to God for and I arrived at this: I thank God for humbling me through these. It's not that He was putting me down, but I really to see that I'm a nobody and I'm not in the center of the universe whereby everything revolves around me. I need to be humbled and I thank God for helping me to abandon my self-centeredness and to go after what's more important.
When I stopped thinking about myself, I realised everything went better and I felt a lot better too! =)
Day 4: 14th December 2010
A day packed with thanksgiving!
1. As mentioned, it was a much better day than the previous day.
2. In the night, there was a time of sharing for the team about what happened in both the music and children's ministry. It's inspiring. Alright, I know this word is overused, but I seriously felt very inspired when I was there.
It's not really about the youths being prodigies or being able to pick up things fast. It's about their hearts. Their hearts towards learning and their hearts towards God. It caused me to reflect upon myself and well, I pale in comparison. Humbled.
And looking at how the music ministry people were sharing about their experiences, I was once again humbled. I saw how they were rejoicing over the youths there while I was upset over myself, I felt ashamed, utterly ashamed of myself.
I praise God for opening my eyes to these, and yes, there's a lot more for me to learn from these people =)
3. Had a great time strumming away with the music people. haha it's fun to be playing guitar together, boringggg to be playing alone.
4. We wrote our prayer requests on the PCC blog (www.carecambodia.blogspot.com) the previous night. On that day, we were witnesses of the fulfillment of everything that we have requested to be prayed for! Isn't God just awesome? =D
5. On the first morning, Alex shared about having no expectations at all but just leave it to God. I had my argument on my blog. haha if you know me well enough, I'm not someone who disagrees with people whom I do not know well upfront.
I honestly didn't know which one is right because the more I feel right about my own stand, the more I feel that my perception is being bounded by myself and there is a possibility of being unable to see what she meant.
That night, after hearing what the music ministry people shared, SW who told me earlier in the day that actually what Alex said was right, she told me that actually having expectations is probably important. I don't know how we can not expect anything, for this simple reason... how do you pray without expecting? If you say you pray for God's will to be done, isn't this a kind of expectation as well? That you expect God's work to be done through us.
But anyway, thank God for this opportunity to think over this issue and well, I think I'm more firm in this now. Expectations is needed.
6. We sang Still that morning. All along, I was just picturing that song as what happened in the storm and Jesus' disciples were panicking etc and it's to remind us to be still and know that God is with us. I wouldn't say that this picture was overthrown nor that it wasn't right. But I got something more from it.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Soaring above the storm doesn't mean just staying calm, but to do our best and achieve God's kind of excellence even when trouble strikes and obstacles are in the way. It's about overcoming. It's possible because "I will soar with YOU", not alone =)I will soar with you above the storm
7. Managed to call Anne Cheung up that night even though it was only for a few minutes before the connection failed me. Thank God for that =)
Day 5: 15th December
Thank God for Calida, for waking me up man! I jumped out of bed at 6.10am cos she woke me up, if she hadn't... oh mannn.
In fact, Calida was the one who woke me up every single day rather than me waking her up. There was one morning I asked her how long did she take to wake me up and she said usually I'll wake up by the 2nd time she calls me. I hope she's telling the truth, haha I don't wanna be a troublesome kid to wake up.
Day 6: 16th December
It was our first day at Takh Mao. It's very different from what we saw in Morning Star and it seems like the kids there have very little knowledge of God as compared to those in Morning Star. I'm thankful to God for bringing us there and not let us stay comfortable in Morning Star for the entire trip. It wasn't just about the place being an eye-opener, but it's more of like being able to make a greater difference in these children's lives, that more can know about God.
Day 7: 17th December
That early morning at about 3am, Calida and I were lying on our beds, just sharing with each other about how we feel towards what happened earlier on in the night. It was a good time of sharing. True that we were feeling fearful and worried, but I thank God that as we took time to pray together, His peace came upon us and we had a good rest. Thank God for the time of sharing too, because that seemed to allow us to know each other more.
That day when we were in Takh Mao, she came running to look for me and shared with me about what's happening. I felt that I was made special, that she bothered running up to ask for me and to tell me that the students learning music rededicated their lives to God =)
Oh yes, and praise the Lord that NOTHING IS ABLE TO STOP US FROM CARRYING ON WITH THE WORK OF GOD. Well, wet weather and so? We still trudge on into the village to CLAIM THE PEOPLE FOR GOD! Praise the Lord for every hearts that were willing to go on into the village, that were so eager to continue with what the Lord has started in the place. God was with us, yes yes yes! It was such a great day and yes, SOOOOO GLAD that we went in despite everything! =)
Day 8: 18th December
My dad, mom and sis said they were coming to pick me up when they didn't have to, and they had to travel from the west to the east, literally. It felt really sweet when I saw them coming all the way to pick me up even though they were late haha thank God for a family that loves me =) haha my mom and my dad kept telling me my mom missed me, but aiya, very hard to tell people that I miss them la >.<
Because my family was late, I was loitering around the airport. Thaddeus saw me walking away on my own and he asked me how I was going home. He sounded concerned cos everyone else had their parents picking them up and I seemed to be alone, but hehe, I smiled and said "I'm waiting for my mom!" Then Liana saw me and asked if I had a lift, I think she wanted me to offer me a lift back home, but hehe, I was waiting for my family! =D
Am I not fortunate to have been blessed with family and friends who love me so much? =)
Day 9: 19th December
Had a good rest at home. Even though I didn't do anything work-related, I managed to settle some little things. Like things that are always at the back of your minds which you simply have no time to bother about during normal school days? For example, sorting out songs on iTunes, uploading pictures etc. Thank God for the time spent at home!
Haha I hope no one's bored with my thanksgiving, because truly truly, if we open our eyes and look intently, we see God's goodness everyday =) May the Lord help me to continue seeing his greatness so even when darkness falls.
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